Katja was in an event last week where people shared what they can do better and with what they need help & from whom. One participant was in a phase of questioning her work and the entire belief-base from which she has worked until now. The question was also about whether we are here to focus on ourselves or whether we should focus on serving others. 

How to understand the dynamics between "self" and "others"? There is a certain metaphoric truth to how they advice you on the airplane to apply the mask on yourself before helping others. It is a big problem in all occupations that are focused on helping others - instead of taking on the clients' issues and sometimes even responsibility for the clients development, you need to stand firmly within your own borders and "issues" and let the client's process flow freely and independently. Then you are serving both yourself and the other(s). For co-creation to work freely, a free, non-manipulative space is a prerequisite. In that space there is room for trust, best solutions and even miracles to arise. And that is when the head-line question dissolves :-)

The passing week has provided us with some messy experiences with narcissistic behavior patterns. It has forced us again to stop, wonder and heal this phenomena and it´s destructive impact on everybody involved. 
We are all affected by it in some way be it at work, at home or at a hobby - nobody is safe from it today. It is so widely spread and people in general lack awareness and concrete tools to work with it and protect themselves from it. It is such a twisted energy that it manipulates both your rational mind and your emotions. 
You loose direction and perspective of what is the most important thing to do and you end up feeling so bad because you cannot express yourself truthfully. In the worst case you can be made to feel so small that you have no other option than surrender to it (and loose yourself!) or to escape from it to save yourself. 

Awareness is the first step to freedom. By accepting that I am part of the mechanism in keeping up the collective denial pattern of how we use each other for our own purposes (to receive attention and love) helps to start the release and healing process. Only a person who has healed this within themselves can help another to become free. 

We used one of our most efficient tools, The Non-Personal Awareness Process (NPA) by Joel Young to face the pure energy of narcissism and lack of love. The energy could be experienced as an infinite sense of emptiness and isolation, coldness and metal-like hardness. There is also a sense of becoming very small and powerless with a huge burden and sadness around the heart. When the energy started to release there was an experience of immense freedom, lightness and ability to breath and be yourself.  A total sense of relief. Finally.

We decided to invite a new kind of pattern with the same NPA practice, the energy of purity. Why purity? 
As human beings it is most important to be able to express ourselves purely - as we really are. It provided a sense of lightness, both in the body, mind and heart. This sensation functions as an invitation to people and situations in your life where you are allowed to be your pure self.