It starts with emotional awareness and honesty
Becoming a master of your emotions requires becoming aware of your emotional patterns (reactivity, aggressiveness, denial of what you really feel, suppressing your feelings), ability to observe yourself and taking full responsibility of what your feelings try to tell you. Your emotions are linked to your thought patterns and beliefs about yourself and the world around you. Feelings show you where your passion and deepest interests are, but we often loose the connection to them in the hurdle of every-day life and through childhood conditioning. With the help of the InTune emotional dynamics model you learn about the patterns and how to be more aware of your reactions.
Feelings are your most important guidance system, showing you if you are In Tune or not. A negative feeling tells you that your are not either focusing on the right thing or you are not succeeding in creating what you want. Therefore it is really important to know what you really want to create. It takes courage to create. Ego is the result of inner isolation and mistrust in life and the power of love and our true nature. We are afraid of love and we need guidance to embrace it, since love wants you to be free by integrating everything (also the shadow) into your being. Love is about being truthful to yourself and others and by allowing all your feelings, you will become whole and free to create.
If we suppress our true feelings, we create unconsciously inner anti-emotional states of denial as shown in the shadow part of the picture below. These inner suppressions can lead to us closing our hearts completely. The unexpressed fear, the underlying first emotion to admit and feel, leads to timidity or excessive behavior, where we take risks not admitting our fear at all. If we suppress anger, or we are conditioned by upbringing not to feel anger, we are at a risk creating bitterness inside coming out in passive-aggressive ways, creating a lot of confusion in relationships. The other polarity is becoming excessively kind, in an dishonest way. Anger is one of the most misunderstood feelings, anger shouldn't be projected onto others, instead we should understand the message it tells us. Anger can be the drive for triggering our true purpose, since we feel an urge to do something about an issue we feel strongly for.
The biggest challenges in understanding emotions stem from guilt and shame, the emotions steering social interactions and power plays. If we deny seeing our own responsibility in an issue (we are part co-creating all the time everywhere we are!) we easily become martyrs to the circumstances. We start to complain as victims, not seeking for solutions or we blame others for our shortcomings or circumstances. We don't accept situations as they are, since it would trigger our pain and grief or sense of helplessness. Stopping completely in a situation where you don't have a clear idea of how to proceed, is the wisest thing you can do (and usually the thing we don't do out of fear) admitting your ignorance or inability to see the next step. Here you have a possibility to become humble, asking for help and guidance. The higher intelligence can enter your consciousness.
Shame is a feeling we want to avoid more than anything else, since it is devastating to admit and feel it. Guilt is related to your actions and shame is related to who you are. If you feel worthless inside, you carry a burden from toxic shame (often stemming from previous generations) and you need to understand your misperception of who you really are. Denying shame creates dishonest appearances, you want to either give the picture of yourself as the flawless angel or you behave in a shameless way, showing how little you really appreciate yourself.
How these shadow states are expressed in your behavior can be seen in how you cling to your perceptions of old issues and people, although you know in your heart you are not honest. You escape into destructive behaviors and or addictions like alcoholism, work alcoholism, eating disorders, overdoing sports, gambling etc. You are driven by your ego and your wounded personality/inner child defending your position and opinions, not open to receive guidance or new perspectives. You use other people for fulfilling your needs. The other polarity offers an indulgence in sacrificing yourself and your true needs by helping others with a wrong intention. You are constantly focusing on the opinions of other people instead of thinking for yourself. You might develop a life lie to cling to or you embrace a megatruth (ideology) from the outside to give you a kind of protection.
Feelings are your most important guidance system, showing you if you are In Tune or not. A negative feeling tells you that your are not either focusing on the right thing or you are not succeeding in creating what you want. Therefore it is really important to know what you really want to create. It takes courage to create. Ego is the result of inner isolation and mistrust in life and the power of love and our true nature. We are afraid of love and we need guidance to embrace it, since love wants you to be free by integrating everything (also the shadow) into your being. Love is about being truthful to yourself and others and by allowing all your feelings, you will become whole and free to create.
If we suppress our true feelings, we create unconsciously inner anti-emotional states of denial as shown in the shadow part of the picture below. These inner suppressions can lead to us closing our hearts completely. The unexpressed fear, the underlying first emotion to admit and feel, leads to timidity or excessive behavior, where we take risks not admitting our fear at all. If we suppress anger, or we are conditioned by upbringing not to feel anger, we are at a risk creating bitterness inside coming out in passive-aggressive ways, creating a lot of confusion in relationships. The other polarity is becoming excessively kind, in an dishonest way. Anger is one of the most misunderstood feelings, anger shouldn't be projected onto others, instead we should understand the message it tells us. Anger can be the drive for triggering our true purpose, since we feel an urge to do something about an issue we feel strongly for.
The biggest challenges in understanding emotions stem from guilt and shame, the emotions steering social interactions and power plays. If we deny seeing our own responsibility in an issue (we are part co-creating all the time everywhere we are!) we easily become martyrs to the circumstances. We start to complain as victims, not seeking for solutions or we blame others for our shortcomings or circumstances. We don't accept situations as they are, since it would trigger our pain and grief or sense of helplessness. Stopping completely in a situation where you don't have a clear idea of how to proceed, is the wisest thing you can do (and usually the thing we don't do out of fear) admitting your ignorance or inability to see the next step. Here you have a possibility to become humble, asking for help and guidance. The higher intelligence can enter your consciousness.
Shame is a feeling we want to avoid more than anything else, since it is devastating to admit and feel it. Guilt is related to your actions and shame is related to who you are. If you feel worthless inside, you carry a burden from toxic shame (often stemming from previous generations) and you need to understand your misperception of who you really are. Denying shame creates dishonest appearances, you want to either give the picture of yourself as the flawless angel or you behave in a shameless way, showing how little you really appreciate yourself.
How these shadow states are expressed in your behavior can be seen in how you cling to your perceptions of old issues and people, although you know in your heart you are not honest. You escape into destructive behaviors and or addictions like alcoholism, work alcoholism, eating disorders, overdoing sports, gambling etc. You are driven by your ego and your wounded personality/inner child defending your position and opinions, not open to receive guidance or new perspectives. You use other people for fulfilling your needs. The other polarity offers an indulgence in sacrificing yourself and your true needs by helping others with a wrong intention. You are constantly focusing on the opinions of other people instead of thinking for yourself. You might develop a life lie to cling to or you embrace a megatruth (ideology) from the outside to give you a kind of protection.
Becoming still and present
Learning to use presencing as a daily practice and moment-by-moment way of becoming balanced and In Tune is a core skill. You learn to observe when you need to become present and to use your ability to stop and assess where you are in relation to what you are doing and the people involved. When you have integrated this skill the dialogue between yourself and others becomes a natural habit. It allows you to make conscious and better decisions in each moment. There is space for great insights and creative impulses to emerge.
Exposing yourself to the new and uncomfortable
This skill is the kind that determines how fast you can develop and move ahead in life. It requires openness to the unknown and willingness to face uncomfortable feelings (fear, anxiety, sorrow, disappointments) and your own limitations and limiting beliefs. Facing your own shadow is necessary for growth, liberation and thriving. In the In Tune world we call it "Celebrate Shit". Within the darkest place you find the brightest light. This is the reason why real change is perceived so difficult, both for individuals and groups/organizations.
Change of beliefs & thought patterns
Did you know that around 95% of the average person´s thoughts are negative? What kind of a world are we creating with negative thinking? The first place to look is how do you think about yourself and your abilities. That is the key to what the surroundings reflect back to you. You can change your reality by becoming aware of and reprogramming your thoughts and beliefs. This is sometimes arduous work because the deepest beliefs have been programmed into us in early childhood. Until you become aware of your behavior, it is ruled by your unconscious mind and emotional heredity. You can break the cycle by becoming aware and taking responsibility for what goes on in your mind.
Accepting yourself and others - embrace self-love
Feel the relief in your body when you completely and fully accept yourself! As you can probably feel from the heading, this is a state of wellbeing and compassion - after having worked with yourself, you also become aware of what other people might be going through and it becomes easier to look at the world with loving eyes. You start to take actions out of self-love. You understand that by receiving and asking for the highest good for yourself, it will bring the highest good for all other people involved.
Fulfilling your purpose by courageously using your creative gifts
When you have been able to shake off old burdens, unnecessary negativity, even loads from your ancestors and other people, your unique Self, charisma and your creativity will start to flourish. You become ready to forgive and let your energy run free towards what means most to you. You take inspired actions and you end up inspiring others. When you find the connection to your Purpose you will naturally have the courage to go after what it is you really want to do.
Integrating and deepening all these skills is a life-long journey and you will use them and benefit from them throughout your life. They give you inner peace, confidence and joy while traveling through life with those you co-create it with.
Integrating and deepening all these skills is a life-long journey and you will use them and benefit from them throughout your life. They give you inner peace, confidence and joy while traveling through life with those you co-create it with.